Seek First to Understand
FULL PODCAST EPISODE 023
Today is day 8 in our 9 day podcast series on how to upgrade your relationships, and we’ll be teaching you how to understand others. Seek first to understand, then to be understood, but most people do the opposite and start by trying to get others to understand them. Our life is not measured by the duration, it’s measured by our donations. It’s so easy to judge people based on how you see them from your own perspective, when the ideal situation would be to understand things from their point of view.
For example, if you see someone driving and talking on the phone, your immediate thought might be that they’re going to cause an accident, which makes you react with anger and frustration, but have you considered that they might be talking to their dying mother on the phone? How would you react differently if you understood the context? It’s important to ask yourself what’s going on in someone else’s world in order for them to behave the way they do.
Every human behavior is either motivated by love or in need of it, so it’s imperative that we learn to see people through compassion and curiosity rather than judgment. The next time someone you know is acting moody or strange, rather than making snarky comments like “who pissed in your cereal?”, consider where they’re coming from and ask how you can help. They’re most likely in a state of emotional duress that may or may not have been triggered by you, but regardless, don’t take it personally, don’t make assumptions, and try to help.
Wayne Dyer said the one thing in the world that will never know darkness is the sun, as it is a source of light. Be the source of light for others, and watch how their guard drops and the lines of communication open up. It takes 2 people to start an argument, and 1 person to end it, so end it with the invincible force of love. An issue that will come up on the path to understanding others is that a lot of people don’t like admitting they assumed wrong, they’ll continue to defend themselves in an attempt to save their dignity. But one of the greatest qualities of a mature adult is that they quickly admit their mistakes and take responsibility. So next time you’re in a situation that frustrates you, pause, take a deep breath, be aware of your emotions, and determine the context of the situation. It may very well be your fault.
If I gave you the best phone in the world, but you couldn’t see any of your loved ones anymore, and you could only talk to them through that phone, how much would that phone be worth to you? Not very much at all. People are more important than things in every single situation. Furthermore, you can only influence people when you understand their world and speak their language, as people will not remember what you do or say, they’ll remember how you make them feel.
To your continued evolution, live it up with POWER, PURPOSE & PASSION!
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